So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
