whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
God, I missed his penis.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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