you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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