wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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