He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
