With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
