walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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