so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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