And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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