He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
