It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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