If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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