I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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