You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
