I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
