..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Randomize
