i just wanna soil my oats bro
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
