I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
