This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
