THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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