not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
