Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
