I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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