I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize