Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
