I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize