Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
