pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
