I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
