Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
