So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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