About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
