You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
did i walk over a car last night?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
