Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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