Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
