i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
