I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
