hell yes lets make some ravioli
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
