Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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