I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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