The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
