can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
