Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
