I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
