ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
