Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
