My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In America we eat man semen.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
