i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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