I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
