i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
