I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
