you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
