we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
