we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
