Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
