So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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