Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
