So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize