Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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