Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
