whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize