That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
