No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
