things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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