I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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